Kinder Ways

Recent video of a man with PVC pipe attacking people on Denver’s 16th Street Mall stunned me. The surprise wasn’t the attack. It was that not one person was willing to stop him from hurting others. Americans traditionally defend others. Something has changed.

I believe in life on other planets. The Creator clearly loves diversity, so I’m playing the odds.

I believe in motherhood, apple pie, and–okay, Honda. (Chevy ain’t what it used to be.)

I also believe strongly in the Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Note that I haven’t said I believe in guns. Guns are a tool. Like cars, they can be used for good or evil. But the real key to the Second Amendment is the will of the people to defend themselves and each other.

Ted Noyes, “Sensei Ted”, understood the right use of force. Inventor of his own martial art–Tsu Jido–meaning “Way of the Way” or “Way of the Street”, he led the Denver Chapter of the Guardian Angels and had over 1000 arrests without any being thrown out due to misconduct. He also valued gun rights. His mindset was never to cause trouble, but to stop it.

As ISIS and other Islamic Fundamentalists continue attacks on anyone who disagrees with their interpretation of Islam world-wide and as more disturbed people become violent, each individual must choose whether to fight or submit. Will you choose to allow slaughter or plan with others a response to save lives?

The odds of needing to do this are very low. But failing to acknowledge this possibility will cost lives. It’s like pretending a fire or tornado can’t strike. The aftermath becomes much worse.

A situation may call for any number of responses. We still need to defend the innocent. Learn what you need to do in a crisis before you are in one.

I see no evidence of the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and reserve judgment on Santa. But Islamic Terrorists are real. Disturbed people are real.

I will respond carefully, but I will not submit.

Instead of informing the American public of anything substantive, President Obama chose to blame and belittle others for their frustration that he will not use the phrase “radical Islam.” While it might not change U.S. military tactics, the term might acknowledge reality. Perhaps if President Obama’s efforts had been effective in reducing the appeal of radical Islam, if ISIS had been weakened, if thousands of innocent people had not been executed, he might be able to sustain his position.

His assumption seems to be that Americans will all be unthinking bigots unless he avoids naming the enemy. But the omission doesn’t build his identity as a peacemaker or as a lover of freedom. It makes me wonder whose side he is on.

Words matter. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t daily awaken wondering which words (if any) describing ethnicity are acceptable. We would still have mailmen instead of Letter Carriers. Person-person didn’t resonate. “Gay” would still have only one meaning. “Challenged” would not have replaced “handicapped” and “handicapped” , “retarded” and “retarded” would not have replaced “idiot.” “Pro-choice” would not have replaced “Pro-abortion.” “Pro-life” would not have replaced “Right to Life.”

One of the first things that precedes every holocaust is the casting of the targeted group as non-human. Vocabulary becomes a key part of it. Practitioners of abortion replace “baby” with “product of conception.” How very aseptic it sounds, how clean not to consider the human aspect of ending a helpless life. Anyone who has seen the aftermath of this “procedure” is likely to reconsider it. No wonder they use a specialized vocabulary.

So a refusal to use a functional vocabulary to distinguish between non-hostile Muslims and those horrifically murdering anyone who disagrees with them does matter. It may not impact our tactics, but may very well influence the opinion of those of us sheltered from the carnage.

We can call it Jihad, Islamic Extremism, War, or Murder. We could name it Teddy and hope it gets all fuzzy and cuddly. But until the American people decide to face this, the problem will continue to grow. Instead of sticking our heads in the sand, we’d better learn to protect each other.

In the wake of the terror attack in Orlando, KHOW radio host Ross Kaminsky http://khow.iheart.com/onair/ross-kaminsky-57121/ mentioned the Pink Pistols http://www.pinkpistols.org/, an LGBT self-defense organization. Their intent is defensive, to equip people to defend themselves from those who hate; to let haters know someone might be there to defend against them.

We find common ground in that we believe that life is worth defending and that no one has the right to steal it. All lives matter.

All lives matter.

To many, murder is only theoretical. It is real to me. My beautiful cousin was murdered. It has been over thirty years, and we all still miss her. The world lost a real treasure at the hands of a stalker who strangled her. Weapons aren’t the problem. Human will to take life is. Demonizing the weapon lets the murderer escape responsibility for his choice.

The Pink Pistols choose to defend against those who choose violence against their community.

In this, we should follow their gentle, courageous example. Until recently, I’ve been a non-gun owner friendly to the second amendment. It’s time for me to learn, too. Evil people will always exist. Sometimes they will become violent. I’d like to be ready and able to stop them–non-violently if possible. But the theft of lives, of the joy and potential of each individual, is simply too awful to allow.

To those whose families and friends will always grieve in the wake of the Orlando Pulse Club massacre, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Words simply can’t express your loss or my sympathy for all you are enduring.

A teacher assigns a project: Each student is to create a photographic portrayal of their own self- identity. Then that identity is rejected. Eventually, the school agrees to accept the project for a grade, but refuses to publish the photo.

It has happened to Joshua Bruner

Granted, the school policy excludes gun photos, and he included a gun in his patriotic selfie. But that begs the question, why is such censorship tolerated? Like food, oxygen, drugs, sex, knives, rope, poison, helium, gasoline, and sugar, guns can be used for good or evil. Personally, I feel much safer knowing there are good men and women defending my country. To vilify any object simply takes it out of the public eye as a useful defense. It encourages a mindset of helplessness and fear in the face of danger. But people prepared to face danger are far more likely to survive it.

Guns and patriotism aside, in this era of “anything goes”, this screams of a double standard. I hope Joshua Bruner has a strong sense of his own worth and identity. At age 15, I disagreed with my speech class about the ERA. That was traumatic enough. Having the school district refuse my self-portrayal would have devastated me at his age.

FOX News initially covered this from a “patriotism got slammed” viewpoint. http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2016/06/11/school-rejects-teens-gun-toting-flag-waving-photo.html But imagine the fits from the left if this had been an LGBT individual whose identity portrayal was being censored.

If someone is told to depict their self-identity, their response should be respected and accepted.
The simple truth is that acceptance is not a concern of those in charge of Joshua’s school–at least, not for a gun-toting patriot.

The America I know promotes the clash and free exchange of ideas and the worth of the individual. Our pledge of allegiance concludes, “…with liberty and justice for all.” All.

Not just those whose identities fit the agenda of those in authority. Every American should speak out against any attempt to force anyone into intimidated silence. The right to voice an opinion is at the root of self-identity and of freedom. We must each value one another’s opinion. If one of us can be censored, we all can.

The Ringoes, NJ School Board ought to be called out on this. They owe Joshua Bruner–and every defender of this nation–an apology. We are free because of good people carrying weapons. But even if I’m wrong about this, it’s a free country. I can hold any opinion or be anyone I choose.

Or can I?

“The guys who didn’t come back, those are the heroes.”

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard veterans say that. My mother began thanking veterans for their service. At first, it shocked them. The Vietnam War was highly controversial. It wasn’t common practice to thank vets until after 9/11. But both then and now, our vets will likely respond to our thanks by remembering those who didn’t come back.

I awoke this morning remembering a story from my friend, Maj.(Ret.) Edward Miller. He and his childhood best friend were in San Diego one night during WWII and heard the sounds of battle down by the waterfront. The next morning they looked around and found missile debris with Japanese writing on it. Both went immediately to enlist.

His friend served on a bomber. The ball turret gunner was scared he’d be trapped, so he asked Ed’s friend to promise he’d come get him out if they were going down. One day the plane was hit, and he headed back from the cockpit to keep his promise. It was the last time he was seen alive.

Ed told me the story over 50 years later, and still had tears in his eyes.
So did I.

His friend was the kind of guy you could trust to keep a promise to risk his life to save yours–even if it cost him his own. He was the kind of hero who did not come home.

I’m grateful to be free, and that if I choose to learn German or Japanese or Arabic that it will be only because I want to. I can’t thank our servicemen enough. Caring for their friends who survived and for their families will only scratch the surface of the debt I (we) owe them. Guarding the tools of freedom–learning about our history and system of government and voting, or possibly serving personally–are mere table stakes. So is taking the time to consider the relative cost and effectiveness of military force against our enemies.

Ed Miller practiced these ideals during all the years I knew him. He never had to face the temptation his friend overcame. He was the hero who came home. It was a privilege to know him, and to gain insight into “the guys who didn’t come home.” Both Maj. Miller and his friend defined themselves by their actions of service and kindness.

Now it is our turn to keep the legacy alive.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: The Only Way to Find Solutions

We have become a nation sharply divided, but not so much as it seems. Pondering Election Day made me realize that Americans of all extremes have a great deal of common ground despite our passionately held convictions. In fact, the source of our passions is mostly the same: We want what’s best for everyone.

America is a nation rich in resources. One of our finest is the compassion of her citizens for anyone helpless or struggling. Liberals and Conservatives see different paths for addressing those needs.

We’re all in the same boat, and it has a big leak. We can get out of this mess, but we’re going to need to quit using the oars to bash each other and take turns rowing and bailing.

Although a few people seem to believe our resources are infinite, most Americans realize we can’t keep spending borrowed money much longer. But deciding where to limit spending is like deciding who gets control of the remote. No one wants to give theirs up. It is going to take some thoughtful negotiating to work through this family dispute.

Meaningful discussion would go a long way toward healing the nation. It would indicate genuine concern for the welfare of Americans now and later. It will require laying aside presumptions about constituencies and accusations about motives. But it must happen soon or we will all suffer, the poor more than the wealthy.

America was the land of opportunity long before the government began increasing its scope by spending its way into our school districts, medical care and charitable causes. The source of opportunities is not government funding, it is the determination and compassion of the American people. It would be wonderful if everyone could have a perfect life from cradle to grave, but no amount of spending will provide that. No amount of money or government oversight has ever built Utopia, but some pretty major disasters have occurred when governments intervened in economic and personal matters in attempts to do so.

Somehow we forget the value of substantive clash of ideas and substitute the flash of bickering. Media attention leads to the visibility politicians need to win elections. Controversy gets Media attention. Respectful discussion isn’t exciting, so it has been lost in the fog of Media blitzes. Rush Limbaugh and The View both make extreme statements in order to gain the audience share. Each may claim they argue soundly—but do they? Do we as an audience take time to question their assertions? Do we have the tools to tell legitimate arguments from fallacious ones?

Sunshine on budget discussions will help best if followed by negative voter responses to fallacious arguments. Benjamin Franklin said, “It is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority.” Each citizen needs to question the assumptions behind the arguments we hear. Encourage individual politicians you believe you can trust to use sound, civil argumentation and work respectfully; to look ahead together.

Change won’t come overnight, but just as a flood begins with a single raindrop we can choose to begin a healing rain one conversation and one issue at a time.

Copyright 2014 KinderWays.com

Double standards can be hilarious, be aren’t so great when they’re applied to you. Comedian Bob Nelson says, “Humor is tragedy removed by distance.” In other words, someone stepping in poop is funny as long as it isn’t you. It’s true. The only easy way to pick up on hypocrisy is to be on the receiving end. We all make mistakes, and somehow–like Body Odor–ours just don’t offend us.

So thank you, Gene Simmons, for noticing a double standard being applied to someone who doesn’t seem to share your world view–Tim Tebow. Special honors for speaking up!

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/09/13/legendary-rock-star-eviscerates-media-in-blistering-defense-of-tim-tebow-theyre-aholes/

Sometimes double standards are obvious, but we just miss them. How about the idea that two merged cells with DNA is “Life!” and a headline if it is from Mars, but within a human womb it is more questionable? Why wouldn’t they be comparable, either “life” or “questionable”? Or how about excusing the behavior of our own kids (or pets), but thinking of others’ as bratty if we don’t know them?

Screaming for high standards in schools/workplaces is easy until you are in the position to enforce them. Then it seems unkind. But is it actually kind to carry someone forward when they don’t meet the standard? Or is it an easy out for you that will later inflict pain on them? What if they aren’t capable of meeting the standard? Such questions seem simpler from far away.

Taking time to look for your own hypocrisy doesn’t always make it easy to find. So we should promote a culture that encourages gentle confrontation and an expectation that we may need to be the one(s) to change. Each of us needs someone who cares enough to let us know when we’re messing up.

Imagine being on a road trip in the mountains. It’s late, the road is dark and guardrails have been damaged. When you stop for gas, the attendant learns you’re heading for a town in the other direction. He pulls out a map–no internet or cell phone, either. (It’s my analogy!) He sets you straight. You probably aren’t going accuse him of being unsupportive.

It takes courage to confront someone about a mistake and courage to admit one. Knowing that most people would rather have a tax audit than any confrontation, we must recognize the value implicit in such efforts. Recognizing that three of the hardest words to pronounce are “I was wrong,” might mean it is a sign of courage and integrity to say them. We should listen carefully to constructive criticism. Then we can respond thoughtfully, possibly after careful research or soul searching. Far from dividing us, such exchanges enrich our perspective and deepen mutual esteem.

Gene Simmons’ and I don’t agree on everything; his vocabulary isn’t mine. But his points–that everyone should be measured by the same standard and that positive behavior shouldn’t be stigmatized–are fabulous!

America is poorer now than we were January 4. On Jan. 5, 2012, Col. Fitzroy “Buck” Newsum, one of the Tuskegee Airmen took his final flight.

I had the privilege of meeting Col. Newsum about ten years ago at an airshow. I took off “in search of” the minute they announced he was present but couldn’t find him. Late in the day we bumped into him, already hot and tired. Just the same, the Colonel seemed to enjoy our lengthy conversation. I’m deeply grateful for his perspective.

There aren’t words to explain just how much I admire anyone who excels in a hostile culture. Grace and effective opposition under such injustice set a marvelous example. It requires tremendous character. That doesn’t make such individuals paragons of virtue; it indicates development of a special wisdom and self-restraint worth understanding.

My hope in meeting Col. Newsum was to learn some of that wisdom. I packed my wonderings into one question: How do you handle a mistake?

“What kind of mistake?” he wanted to know.
“ANY kind.”
He thought about it for almost a minute. “First, be hard. If it’s you that made it, be harder. Then you learn from it and move on. Don’t let it keep bothering you.”

Sage advice for any occasion, it was been one of the most liberating conversations I’ve ever had. Today, as we swear in Barack Obama, I believe it holds true for our culture as well.

Col. Newsum introduced me to Tuskegee Airmen, Inc. http://www.tuskegeeairmen.org/
Attending a meeting of the Hubert “Hooks” Jones Chapter left me awed, stunned—and grieved: Awed at the kindness and caliber of the individuals. Shocked, because the older members of the chapter were still pinching themselves and wondering if being treated with honor at a parade in Pueblo was real.

All those years of injustice left very real scars in the lives of these great individuals. Overcoming obstacles came hard. It shaped much of their lives. They had been so hurt for so long that the changes pervasive in my typical environments had not fully penetrated their existence.

At last, some degree of the honor so long overdue was being enacted.

If we are to move forward at all, we must choose to expect the best from one another even as we also hold people accountable for their actions. Our lens for gauging wisdom must not be colored by race, but by the quality of character and effectiveness of actions.

I’ve quit answering surveys about my ethnicity. They are divisive, counterproductive.
I take pride in my American heritage, despite my grief and shame at our mistakes. It is the culmination of sacrifices by so many, and in many ways is still great.

And I honor heroic actions to the best of my ability, wherever they may be found.

Thumbs up, Col. Newsum! May God bless our efforts for freedom!
http://www.taisf.org/

“Christmas is real magic – not the magic of wizards, wands and wishes, not the stagemagic of illusion, but the poetic magic that derives from supernatural reality. What could be more awe-inspiring and worthy of celebration than that unique turning point in history when supernature invaded nature, the creator entered his creation, the Word became flesh, God became man? What story could be more suitable to tell to every generation of children? Magic because it’s true.”
— John Lennox, Professor of Mathematics at Oxford University

Although this quotation is from a response to Richard Dawkins’ most recent book, this observation by John Lennox expresses my own wonder and joy at Christmas time so well I had to share.

Original Article

May your Christmas be filled with the most powerful magic of all!
Blessings!

I actually had an uncle named Sam. On one visit when I was about eight years old I asked him about taps at funerals. I’d heard a rumor that not everyone who served got a full honor guard at their memorial. He confirmed that was true, but told me he’d earned that honor.

Now I knew my uncle was the coolest guy ever, but he didn’t have a bunch of medals. His title wasn’t impressive. It was something like, “specialist” and he never talked about what he did. I didn’t say anything, but doubted it was true.

Uncle Sam fixed airplane engines at a nearby Air Force Base. He paid his bills and loved his family. But he always seemed tongue-tied when politics came up, especially foreign policy. He just seemed bashful. He did mention being somewhere that people didn’t want him, and that the food was all dehydrated so the people fouled the water. His unit went most of 3 weeks surviving on very little.

Many years later in his final days, he became delirious. I don’t know what he said, but it rattled my Aunt. She says it leaves her with more questions than answers; she will never divulge whatever was spoken. My uncle would not have, and she keeps that trust for him.

My uncle passed away Dec. 25, 2005.
There was a full honor guard at his memorial.

Sam had received citations of a high order that could not be revealed publicly. In fact, he could not even have the medals that would represent his actions. This impacted his life enormously. He had ulcers, damaged relationships, and was often compared negatively with others who had actually done less.

He served with honor, sacrificing his good for that of his country throughout his life.

For all the “Sams” and their families, all those who have served and sacrificed at home and abroad, THANK YOU.